Problems Only Gluten Free People Understand Continued

In case you missed it here's Part 1.

You are annoyed at hidden sources of gluten.

Why does soy sauce have wheat in it? Why do Campbell’s soups have wheat in them, and why do people put canned soup concentrate in casseroles?

You basically can’t eat at Asian restaurants because there’s soy sauce on everything. Asking about ingredients is really difficult when the server has a language barrier. Those cool, hibachi places where they make everything in front of you are basically out. (Note P. F. Chang’s is very accommodating. I’ve eaten there once, and they put your gf food on a different plate to keep it distinct from everyone else.)

Speaking of restaurants, eating out anywhere can be expensive. Or boring. Looks like I can eat grilled chicken, salad, or a grilled chicken salad. Or maybe some unseasoned veggies. So appetizing.

If possible, you look up the menu online ahead of time so you don’t have to admit to the server that you’re gluten free. For example, you can use the Find Me Gluten Free app and website which I wrote about here.

You do this for a couple reasons.

One is you don’t want to be judged by the server.  (This is a silly reason that I am trying to get over.)

Another is that you are not celiac, so you can take your life in your hands and order French fries, even though they are probably fried in the same fryer with the breaded chicken. (Shout out to Five Guys for having totally gluten free fries. I wrote a full review here.)

A third reason is that you don’t want to be that customer who asks lots of questions. You feel sorry for the server and reluctant to make special requests since you’ve worked in a kitchen/bakery/retail and you know what it is like when customers create extra work for you, and ask questions you don’t know the answers too. The server may be thinking “I wasn’t trained in this!”

A fourth is you don’t want to rely on the server for information. I’ve had servers say “I don’t know what gluten is.” I didn’t know if I should take the time to launch into educational mode and recite “Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye, and anything that has flour in it, including some sauces.”

I re-read that last sentence really fast and it looked like "and anything that has flavor in it."

In truth though, you should always tell your server that you are gluten free. Hopefully, they will take special care of your order.

You don’t like buffets. You don’t want to heckle the few employees with questions for reasons discussed above. And you got sick one time after eating a salad at one and don’t know if you ate something (salad dressing?) with gluten in it, or were “glutened” by cross-contamination from someone sticking the crouton spoon in the carrots. Or maybe the food just sat out too long. Honestly, buffets would not appeal to you even if you could eat gluten. You are not an “all you can eat” kind of person.

When you do have awesome gf food at a restaurant, you worry that the server messed up your order and gave you normal food, it’s just that good! This happened to me at Chipotle once. Their corn tortillas/soft tacos are so good, I wondered if they had wheat in them. I did not get sick. Now when I order there I specify “gluten free corn tacos” and the server offers to change his or her gloves, without me asking.

You can read more restaurant reviews about The Outback Steakhouse and pizza places.

You are annoyed that many store-bought gf products are not healthy. Why do they have so much soy and sugar and carbs?

You are annoyed that other gf products are so healthy. I can eat eggs, nuts, and dairy! Do not deprive me of nutrients and protein and flavor!

It’s not all bad. Being gf builds character!

It has strengthened your will power. In fact, you can’t understand why gf people cheat on their diets. The repercussions are not worth it!

It made you try new things. And some of those things were terrible. But some of those things were awesome.

You have lots of practice dealing with disappointment. Like when you went to a restaurant that supposedly offers gf pizza, but you went at lunch time and they only baked the pizzas for supper since they take an hour to bake. That would have been nice to know in advance. I guess I’ll have another salad.

You are probably healthier eating all that salad and grilled chicken and not eating all those desserts. You can make desserts at home that taste twice as good with half the sugar.

It has cultivated your sense of humor. You can laugh as you retell your baking woes, like Cooking without Mom

It has made you more creative. No gluten-free graham crackers for s’mores? No problem. You improvise with chips. That bread you tried is terrible? Disguise it in French toast, breakfast casserole, or stuffing. And check out the gf breads I've tried.

It has made you appreciate good food. Before you took it for granted!

You love fruit, cheese, bacon, chocolate, and ice cream.